Unlikely Encounters
by MAGO5
Summary: No one could have seen it coming, and with an all-too generic plot device, the team is scattered and left to fend for themselves in a strange new world.  Rated for violence/language. R
1. Chapter 1

Welcome, my veiwers, to my first fanfiction crossover!

[Applause]

I have nothing of too much importance to say, other than, since this is my first time writing fanfiction, I beg my audience for critique, as it is essential to improve my writing skills. I have a fairly standard attitude towards my own writing in the sense that I fell it is inadiquite compared to other stories I have read, so improvement is what I need most at this moment.

And here is the disclamer for the story: Team Fortress 2, Sonic the Hedgehog, and their characters rightfully belong to Valve and Sega (although I'm not read up on the politics of it, so I'm not sure)

* * *

Shadow was **pissed**

There was just no other way to go about saying it. Even as he was deliberately striding down the sidewalk of downtown, late in the day, he wore an angry grimace on his face that tells the citizens to stay well clear of his path. Since the start, his day has been unsatisfactory to the note. Woke up late, spilled scalding coffee on his chest, found out the shower of his semi run-down apartment was broken (his chest fur is still clumped together and reeks), was giggled at by a passing trio of ditzy schoolgirls on his way out, which really grinds his gears, and arrived late to work to top off his morning shit-list.

Shadow worked part –time at a small business that runs errands and delivers parcels for people. Since Dr. Eggman hasn't been up to anything dastardly for months now, the pace of his usually adrenaline-fueled, violence-filled life slowed down to the point that he realized he had no way to sustain himself financially. At first, it was difficult to find food and a place to sleep. He had to call in favors from Sonic and some of his friends.

"_That damned blue menace will never let me forget that…" _Shadow thought to himself as a mother saw the scowling red-and-black hedgehog, pulled her child closer to her, and walked briskly past, trying not to meet his gaze.

Thankfully, a close friend of his offered him work with the aforementioned small business. With a modest wage he's been able to sustain himself without resorting to digging through garbage cans for food. Life for the past few weeks has been genuinely dull for him. He'd sometimes pray for Eggman to send a giant robot to destroy the city, just so he could have something to shoot at.

A thought came to him, _"How the hell does that fat-fuck have the money to build robot armies when I can't even get a decent apartment?" _Shadow stopped his loathing for a moment. He was made aware that people were visibly frightened of him at this point in time. It was not his current intention to traumatize everyone with his presence right then.

"I guess I need to calm down and forget my shitty day." Shadow mumbled to himself. He considered visiting Rouge for a moment, and then cast the idea off immediately. The only way I'll hold her attention, he mused to himself, is if I'm juggling a handful of gems while riding a golden unicycle. He was ever aware of her interest of all that glitters. As he pondered, he discarded the notion of any social confrontation today, as it would more likely make his day worse.

Shadow strolled to a lesser populated part of Station Square. Here, the neighborhood was less friendly as well. People here could lose everything from their cars to their life as crime runs through often. Most would stay clear of this area, as they would like to keep their possessions, material or otherwise.

"_If I do run into trouble, I'll just have a good reason to kick some ass." _Shadow smiled a bit at that prospect. He then discontinued his forward motion.

"I think I'll just go for a run." He said to himself. Using his Air-shoes to propel himself, he took off at blistering speeds. Rather than him running, Shadow uses his shoes to sort of "skate" along the ground. These mysterious devices on his feet save him a lot of energy compared to Sonic's method. As he raced along the street, his mood improved a bit. High speeds, wind on his face, and his day already behind him, _"This is what I live for." _He thought. He took a turn into a narrow alley and slowed his pace down a bit. He approached another turn within the alley and said to himself: "This day is only gonna get better from here…"

_Whha-PING!_

"_Had to open my goddamn mouth…"_

Shadow lay there on the ground, vision and consciousness fading fast from him due to a metal bat striking him in square in the head. He couldn't see his attacker's face, but he did hear his voice.

"You're like a car crash in slow motion, I can actually SEE you flyin' through the windshield!"

And everything went dark…


	2. Chapter 2

BLU Sniper sat on a bench in an ivory room with a cup of coffee in his hand. With his eyelids heavy, he groggily sip from his mug that had "#1 sniper" printed on it. _"Six o' clock in the bloody mornin'. I don't get paid enough to do this."_ He thought dismally. He wasn't the only one taking in account of the early time, or contemplating the lack of a worthy paycheck. Eight other men occupied the same room. They all were thinking the same thing, except for one particular helmeted individual who happened to be shouting at his fellow mercenaries.

"Wake up, you ladies! Today, yes, this very day, is the day we beat those damned REDs so far into the ground that they'll be begging for dirt over them and a headstone! We will show them no mercy! Sun Tzu always said…." And this war-drabble went on for who-knows-how-long. Unfortunately for Sniper, he's heard this several times before, and it has no effect in the sense of waking him up.

"Lower your voice, _Schweinehund!_" Challenged the Medic, "You are giving me unt migraine!"

Soldier shot a glare at the german doctor. "No-can-do, sauerkraut. This is WAR! War will not care about your headache OR your lack of sleep! The last time germans were sleeping on the job, Washington came in and kicked their asses-

"Attention!" The disembodied voice of the Announcer came up on the intercom system. "Prepare to capture the enemy's intelligence!"

"Freakin' finally! Sorry Solly, but your history lesson'l hafta wait." Said the Scout, who was now suddenly enthusiastic. He readied his comically disproportioned double-barreled "Force-a-Nature" and the rest of the team readied their weapons as well. Soldier, who has now given up on his rant, smiled manically to himself as he loaded his brand new rocket launcher: The Black Box. Pyro checked the valves on his flamethrower, Engineer hefted a toolbox on his shoulder, Heavy and Medic prepped themselves for their usual daily routine, and the Demoman chose to use his Eyelander today. The Spy, who was standing quietly in the corner, flicked his cigarette away and mechanically replaced it, already prepped for battle.

Sniper let out a long sigh and grabbed his rifle from the locker behind him. He then downed the last of his coffee, put on his shades, and stood up, now ready as he'll ever be. His plan for the battle was the bare minimum: snipe a few heads and watch for spies. He wasn't as ecstatic as the rest of the mercenaries. _"Doing the same thing every day," _He often thought to himself, _"Doesn't really make a fun-loving person." _The exceptions, of course, being everyone else he worked with.

The Announcer called the countdown. "5… 4… 3… 2… 1!"

And with their individual battle cries, the team rushed out of the resupply room. Scout was out of sight in a moment with Sniper heading in the same direction: the Battlements. He took cover behind the crudely constructed sheet-metal wall while the fast-running/talking Bostonian raced across the roof of the bridge connecting the two bases of 2fort, and disappeared into the enemy base. Sniper readied himself, and with his trusty rifle in his hands, swung out of cover, scoping out for some unlucky fellow's head.

What he got was nothing short of nothing.

Scout returned shortly, with a briefcase on his back, to the BLU mercs that were assembled outside of their base. He wore a triumphant grin on his face.

"Yo guys! Did'cha see me there? I got their secret crap before they had time to get off their lazy bums. Hey, why you guys lookin at me like that?"

"You got that intel because there ain't a soul in that base." Said the Engineer while gesturing to the other side of the canal. Heavy sat on an oil drum, visibly disappointed at the lack of things to shoot. "Why are tiny cowards gone?"

Solider chose this moment to let out a bellowing laugh. "Looks like those RED team maggots finally came to their senses and saw the futility of trying to fight REAL men!" The Medic, who could no longer stay silent, spoke up. "Ve have lost several times in und row for the last month, dummkopf! Zer iz no reason for zem to give up now!" Soldier met Medic's glare. "You have any better ideas Germmie?"

"I zink I can provide a more correct answer, if you please." The Spy then uncloaked behind the group in a manner that made Scout jump in alarm. Despite the predictable reaction from his teammate, the Spy continued, "While you were arguing among yourselves, I took ze liberty of obtaining security camera footage." He produced a video tape from his lavish suit pocket. "Zees will provide the answers to why the RED team is not present."

BLU team was later situated in front of a TV, eager to see what the tape held. Spy inserted it into the VCR, and with a bit of static, an image was produced on the screen.

It showed a room with 9 large glass booths arranged in a 3x3 array, hooked up to a large, complicated, cord-filled piece of machinery suspended from the ceiling. The RED Engie was stationed at a console, obviously working on some kind of prep sequence. Spy provided narration.

"From what I gather, the enemy team was in ze midst of perfecting technology that would allow zem to teleport zehr entire team across long distances in order to give zem a tactical advantage in not just one, but all of our fields of combat." The mercenaries on the screen filed into the booths, the RED Scout being visibly reluctant, as he only put his toe in first like testing a swimming pool for its temperature. BLU Engineer leaned forward, inspecting the design of the machine, taking in every detail and being astonished at the same time. Spy continued,

"Zees recording dates to yesterday at exactly 11:56 a.m., the set time for ze final testing." He stopped his speaking and let the video speak for itself. On the screen, the RED Engie completed the preparations, activated a large switch on the console, and stepped inside an empty glass pod. The booths sealed themselves, much to the dismay of the Scout, who was chomping at the bits and looking every which way. Above the team, the machinery droned to life. Scarlet particles filled the transparent chambers, spinning faster and faster, becoming brighter and brighter until the members who occupied them were fully enveloped in a radiant light.

Chaos!

A surge of _emerald _lighting then coursed through the machine, turning the particle storm into a similar color. Lights flashed, alarms shrieked, and the final scream from the RED team members was cut off by a blinding flash. When the flashed dimmed, the image re-appeared on the TV. Glass was shattered and the great machine lay in ruins with electrical sparks going off randomly throughout the wreckage. The team was nowhere to be found.

BLU team, even the Spy, sat there with mouths agape. Sniper, once again, more-or-less had the same thing in mind as everyone else.

"Holy Dooley…"


	3. Chapter 3

Dear Readers,

If you are like me, the one thing you hate most about reading a story is being confused, because if you don't know where you are, you don't know where you're going, nor where you've been or what time Mythbusters is on.

So, I'd like to take the first part of this chapter to explain some key things about the setting and my general idea for the story:

First of all, I am basing the setting on Sonic Adventure. If you've played it, then all the better, if not, then I'll try my best to fill you in. In one portion of the world there's Station Square where Shadow, Amy, Rouge, and some other characters I have yet to determine will be. Off the coast, there will be the Floating Island, which will be floating in the sky and still have the Master Emerald on it. I added a country-side that's a good deal away from Station Square where Cream, her mom, and various other anthropomorphic characters will reside, as some will probably not like the big city, big city nights… Well that's now stuck in my head. Eggman's base, for the purpose of trying something new, is located under the ocean somewhere.

The time is NOT during the events of Sonic Adventure, though. It is some while after Shadow the Hedgehog, say 1 or 2 years, and life is relatively peaceful, as most stories start out.

My guideline for this story is that there will be NO flashbacks. The story will run forward, and explain parallel events, rather than tear away from the current events to explain the past, which I personally think is annoying.

Finally, I would like to thank my first reviewer, Haloking, and I am looking forward to more feedback/criticism. Haloking, it's great advice, but I like to use suspense sparingly for effect.

So without further stalling desperately for time, let's get on with the chapter.

Disclaimer: Sonic and co. and Team Fortress 2 is owned by Sega and Valve.

* * *

Amy Rose strolled down the bustling boardwalk of Station Square mall, bags of purchased items in both arms. She was, quite truthfully, having a cheery day so far, and taking no notice to the look of surprise of the occasional passing tourist. Any other day she would be apprehensive to this obliviousness, as she was practically famous for being one of the only pink, humanoid hedgehogs known in the world, but she had no reason to gripe today.

Unlike most of her well-known friends, she's had a stable source of income for a long time. For the last few years Amy has been working as a florist and flower arranger in a small shop somewhere in the mall (not very far from Shadow's parcel delivery place). She lives in a cozy, clean apartment, has quite a few human friends she hangs out with, and altogether has plenty of things to do in the city. Today, since her work for the day was over, she was out spending the rest of her time shopping, which was one of her favorite pastimes. So far she had clothes, more clothes, new earrings, a new purse (why women have an obsession with these things I will never know), and some fresh vegetables for tonight's dinner. Amy also bought some lovely blue flowers, as they reminded her of Sonic (not surprising).

She sighed deeply as she thought of the fast-living blue hedgehog. Sonic would usually work a pizza delivery job (delivery really is the best choice for Sonic and Shadow; you can't argue with that), but since last week he has taken a sort of "vacation". That's what he said to his employer before he sped off in the direction of the mountains. This obviously left the pizza joint without its fastest deliverer, and Amy without her beloved. It has only been a week and she, naturally, missed chasing him.

She snapped out of her daydreaming and focused on something else, determined not to dampen her spirits. _"It's Big's birthday soon, and I guess I'll have to bring him something." _She thought, referring to the large, big-eared cat that she befriended. Other than Cream, and her Chao, Cheese, he doesn't get very many visitors out on his beach shack. Amy happened to know of his birthday through a letter from Cream, urging her to come and celebrate.

It took quite a while to figure out what a fellow of simple pleasure could possibly want besides fishing poles and lures, which he already has enough of. Amy glanced at Mens Big and Tall clothing outlet and decided that Big could use a tropical shirt, though she's never seen him wear any article of clothing other than his boots and his belt. With a final shrug, she weaved out of the flow of traffic and walked into the store.

Amy put down her bags and browsed the selection of oversized casual clothing. Having never been to this store, she was taken aback at the surprisingly diverse selection of clothes it had to offer. T-shirts to collared work shirts to track jackets, all ranging in size from XL to XXXXL! She finally found a warm-colored Hawaiian shirt depicting palm trees and a setting sun. Choosing the largest size, she headed for the counter to pay for the gift. She stopped halfway to discover some sort of commotion at the counter.

A large, _bear-like _man was fiercely arguing with the cashier, apparently trying to purchase a set of clothes with foreign money. The man had a huge torso, with arms as big around as a young tree. His head was bald, he had a stubble of facial hair on his jaw line, he was donned with body armor, a bandolier, fingerless gloves, red fatigues, and had a heavy Russian accent. An **angry **Russian accent.

"Dis ees money! Through my hard work, I have earned dis money, and I want to use it to buy things. There should be NO problem!"

"I'm sorry sir, but we don't take that kind of money here." Said the clearly frightened clerk, who was at this point sweating bullets in fear of his safety and well-being. The large Russian was getting more furious by the second, and didn't seem to want to give up until he got what he wanted.

"I will say it in leetle baby words for leetle baby brain." He glared, "Take. Dis. Money. Or. I. Will. HURT. YOU!"

Amy would have none of that. She strode to the man and deliberately tapped him on the arm. He whirled around to face the source of this meddler. When he looked down and saw the pink, dress-wearing hedgehog his gaze immediately widened in pure shock at the unusual aberration.

"GAAAHHH!"

Out of astonishment, the hulking man stumbled backwards and crashed into a rack of jeans that went toppling over. Amy was taken completely by surprise by his bizarre reaction. When she first came to the city, she drew quite a bit of attention from people with her appearance, but never has she met a man, not to mention a tough-looking bear of a man, that would exclaim in terror. She looked over to the cashier, who was thankful for one less future fist-imprint, but winced at the destruction of the clothes rack.

"Dagnabbit Heavy, what in the blazes have you done now?"

Up came a rather short individual who was apparently affiliated with "Heavy". This man had the same red-themed garb and similar facial hair, but he wore overalls and a single glove on his right hand. He was carrying a hardhat and a pair of welding goggles and rubbing his shaven head in frustration.

"Engineer! LOOK!" Said Heavy, who was pointing a meaty, accusing finger at Amy.

Amy took on a scowl and retorted. "It wasn't my fault! You were gonna wail on him!" She argued, gesturing to the man behind the counter who was now minding his own business.

Heavy stood up from the wreckage of the rack and faced his companion. "But he wouldn't take money! I cannot buy clothes!"

Engineer gave Heavy a disapproving glare and then turned to Amy. "I'm sorry for the sake of my pardner… uh… miss, he get a rock in his boots just like everyone else, but he means no harm. Really." He made a tip-of-the-hat motion. "My name's Engineer, and this here is Heavy."

"Uh… Amy. Amy Rose." She warily replied. _"Strange names, but this Engineer fellow seems nice enough."_

Heavy, now over his surprise of his encounter, cautiously met her eyes. "I am sorry." He apologized hurriedly. Engineer continued…

"We aren't from around these parts, as you can tell, and we were just buying some clothes to fit in. We don't exactly look like model citizens with battle-clothing on."

"_Battle-clothing? Just who are these people?"_ Amy wondered. She wanted to know more about these strange people. "Don't worry," She said, "I can pay for the clothes."

"Well shucks, I'd appreciate that very much. How 'bout you, Heavy?" Engineer nudged his partner and he likewise cleared his throat. "Thank you." He said simply. Amy gave him a friendly smile in response. She paid for the clothes, picked up her bags, and they all headed out into the boardwalk.

* * *

Later, Amy, Engineer, and Heavy were sitting at on a bench in the food court. Engineer was summarizing his dilemma.

"So we basically got here on accident, I don't even know if we're in the same time period, or even on the same planet! There are seven more of us, but I don't have any darn clue where they might be, it's just me and Heavy, but Scout is around here somewhere. I sent him to look for the others…"

Amy was listening intently to his story. Heavy was sitting uncomfortably next to her, only daring to steal glances now and then.

"I don't have a clue what went wrong. The teleporter was in workin' order when it just went haywire. We're lucky t' not be torn apart, but we're better off like that if we don't get back. Where exactly are we, miss?"

"This is Station Square." She explained.

"If it's no trouble askin', what exactly are… uh… you?"

"I'm a hedgehog!"

"The strangest hedgehog I ever did see! Never heard of one that can talk! And just when you thought you've seen everything."

Amy blushed a bit in embarrassment.

"Aww… there I go again. Don't mean to make a big deal out of it. Now I hate to ask a lot of ya, but do you think you can help us out here?"

Amy didn't have to think have to think for very long. She always knew of someone who was good with all kinds of technology, and maybe help them get back to their home.

"I think I know someone who can help."


	4. Chapter 4

This is looooooong overdue. The sad truth is, like most authors, I'm lazy. This chapter was supposed to be twice as long, but i'll just put the rest in another chapter. The next chapter will address Solider and Demoman!

Tf2 and Sonic belongs to Valve and Sega.

* * *

Sniper woke up face down with dirt in his mouth. He slowly turned his head to the side and spat the soil that tasted faintly of chemicals.

"_Alright, that's the last bloody time I trust one of lamebrain's contraptions." _

After gaining enough strength to push himself up, he took into account of the indent his body left in the soft, shifting ground. He concluded that he must have fallen from a decent height to leave that sort of mark.

"_The blasted machine doesn't even put you at ground level! Some genius he is…"_

Shifting his negative thoughts away from his "genius" teammate, Sniper observed his surroundings. He was surrounded on all sides by stalks of corn. Row by row it went on with no end in sight. He suddenly realized the pain in his chest and the throbbing of his head. Taking a moment to recover, he assessed mentally his situation.

"_Ok, so I'm in the middle of a cornfield, which means I'm still in agricultural land, and 2fort can't be far away."_

He looked at his timepiece, which said 2:18. Only 2 hours past noon. He guessed he's been unconscious for a little more than 3 hours, assuming teleportation is instant. Another thing Sniper noticed was the lack of his teammates nearby, assuming, again, that they survived that catastrophic misfire. Whatever the case, his top priority was to get back to the base one way or another. Sniper suddenly doubled over in pain from his chest, realizing it was more serious than he thought. He almost mouthed the word "Medic!" out of instinct. The marksman merc knew a chest bleed when he had one, as some cheeky spies push him off of cliffs or balconies more often than he cares to count.

Discarding his tinted shades (which were shattered in his face-first impact), Sniper replaces them with a brand-new pair obtained from some unseen place behind his back.

* * *

A man with a top hat, monocle, and a fine black silk suit sits on a lavish velvet armchair, sipping a glass of vintage wine and thinking quietly to himself. The man then places his glass on the polished oak table to his right and removes his monocle, idly cleaning it with a soft cloth. In this process of cleaning, the man utters a single word:

"Hammerspace."

With that, he inspects the monocle for cleanliness, replaces it on his eye, and resumes to sipping his wine.

* * *

Sniper looks around for signs to follow. If he wasn't going to get back to 2fort tonight, he decided he at least needs a place to lie down to recover, and it wasn't going to be in the middle of a cornfield this time. Inspecting what he can see above the stalks, Sniper finds a faint column of smoke rising in the distance. _"A sure sign of civilization..." _He concludes, _"Must be a local. I could probably 'reason' with them for a meal and a bed." _With that, clutching his chest, he carefully walks toward his destination.

* * *

A delicious aroma hung in the air of the living room as stew was being prepared on the wood fireplace. Vanilla inhaled the savory smell as she was chopping vegetables for tonight's supper. Humming quietly to herself, she poured the chopped carrots, onions, celery, and potatoes into the pot hanging above the crackling fire. Her daughter, Cream, came into the room.

"Hi, mom!" She cheered. "I'm gonna go play outside!"

Vanilla smiled quietly to herself and responded.

"Ok dearie, but be back soon. The soup is almost ready."

With that, Cream happily skipped out the doorway with her Chao, Cheese, floating close behind. She closed the door behind her and there was only silence left in the house, mind the popping of the fire and the faint bubbling from the pot. With this time to herself, Vanilla sat down on her rocking chair and picked up a book she was about halfway through. Before reading it, she thought about her daughter, amazed of her retention of naivety through and through, even when she, all by herself, rescued her mother from the captivity of Dr. Eggman. Vanilla worried about her sometimes, but she has displayed that she doesn't need her mother to take care of herself. She sighed and turned to the marked page in her book.

* * *

Sniper reached the edge of the corn field. The hike was only a short distance, but with his injuries it felt like he crossed Australia and back. With the visual obstruction of the corn stalks now gone, Sniper could see the source of the smoke: it was a brick and mortar chimney protruding from a small, but cozy looking home. Clutching his chest, he strode off towards the front door.

* * *

Vanilla heard a punctuated knock on the door. Surprised, she nearly dropped the book in her hands and almost lost her page! Hurriedly, she marked her page with a ribbon and got up from her chair. _"Cream must be back already." _She thought, walking to the front door, which emanated another, much more hurried knocking sound. Turning the knob, she swung open the door to let her daughter in.

But it wasn't her daughter.

Instead, it was a tall human, with shades, a hat with one side folded up, and some kind of empty quiver on his back. The man looked like he was in a great deal of pain, and was clutching his chest for his life.

* * *

Sniper could barely breathe. He could barely think, and therefore, he could barely see. His injuries have worsened dramatically, affecting almost all of his bodily functions. The pain in his chest was so intense that his vision blurred to near blindness, but he could make out the short, womanly form that opened the door to the injured man. Sniper summoned his last reserves of energy to ask for entrance.

"S'cuse me… miss…" He said between rasps. "…I need to… lie down… for a bit…"

* * *

Vanilla did not hesitate one moment to help the tall stranger to the comfort of the couch by the fire. With her help, he managed to limp, excruciatingly, to the cushy relief of the soft bedding. With a final groan, the shaded man lied on the couch and slowly drifted into unconsciousness. Vanilla held his hand tightly, fearing the worst.

* * *

Sniper, his vision nearing complete darkness, heard the muffled voice of the woman fall on his pain ebbed ears. He did not understand what she said, but before he passed out, he noted the unusual feeling of soft fur on his palm…


	5. Chapter 5

Wholly god I'm lazy it's a fact. Funny thing is, i've had 95% of this done for 2 months. Well... enjoy!

Sonic=Sega TF2=Valve

* * *

The jungle: A vast, endless scape of thick, dark, and green growth. Trees tower over all other living things, vines knit through every path, and the cacophonous sounds create and endless orchestra of chaos. Within the borders of these grand ecosystems roams many things, some more deadly than others, some things peaceful and docile, but there is one thing that draws our attention the most.

One man…

"One man…"

Trapped behind enemy lines…

"Trapped behind enemy lines…"

Betrayed by his own country…

"Betrayed by his own country…"

Stop that.

"Oh, alright."

Solider stomped through the dense jungle floor teeming with snagging vines and decaying matter, clutching his shotgun tightly. The only time he takes his hand off the pump is to wipe the ever-collecting sweat under his hat generated by this unbearably humid environment. Soldier sweeps his head this way and that, a rhythmic motion as a precaution for ambush. Very little light penetrates the opaque canopy, forcing him to constantly squint his eyes as he traveled in search of the edge of this dark-green hell. There was a sudden noise behind him, a rustling of leaves. Quickly, Soldier turn around, shotgun pointed in the direction of this possible threat. In his carelessness, as he was still moving in one direction, he snagged his foot on the wooden tendril of a tree root. With a surprised yelp, Solider was thrown on his back, his hat knocked off.

Quickly, he sat up and aimed his shotgun at the source of the noise yet again. After waiting for what seemed like hours, Soldier got up from the soil rich ground, dismissing the treat. He picked up his tall, fashionable, Victorian Military headwear (the Stout Shako, of course), donned it on top of his shaven head, and continued. It wasn't too long afterwards when he caught the first sign of bright light stabbing through the canopy. Elated, Soldier rushed towards the edge of the jungle, relived for the first time since being dropped here by Engie's blasted machine. As he stepped out of the hostile jungle, blinding sunlight enveloped the battle-hardened merc. Taking a moment to adjust to the clear skies, his shoulders sagged in disappointment. The "edge" he has supposedly came upon was just a large clearing, surrounded by dense growth on all sides.

In the middle of the clearing was a tall, ancient pyramid with glyphs and carvings depicting nothing solider could understand. Carved onto all for sides of the pyramid was steep stairs leading all the way up to its stony top. Soldier went to investigate the ruins, but not before putting away his shotgun in an unseen place behind his back.

* * *

Out on a lush, green golf course, two figures rose up to the trimmed green. One was a gentleman, dressed in a fine plaid vest over a white shirt, tan pants, and polished golf shoes. The other was a small boy; an attendant to the player, lugging the carrier of golf clubs. The man removed a carefully chosen club from the carrier, lined it up with the small, ivory ball contrasting the level grass, and struck it with professional precision. The boy came to retrieve the man's club as the player stared into the distance, following the arc of the ball.

"Excellent shot, sir." The boy praised. "No other like it."

"Max, my boy?" The man replied, still looking into the distance

"Yessir?"

The man paused for a great deal of time.

"Hammerspace."

"Yessir! Of course, sir!"

Without speaking another word, the man and the boy strode off into the direction of the 9th hole.

* * *

After closer inspection, Soldier saw that the stones that made up the pyramid were covered in moss and lichen, but otherwise untouched by weathering and time. A brush of the plant matter showed that it's cling was as fragile as dust. Warily, Soldier started to climb the steps, which were narrow and very tall. When he got to the peak, he almost lost his balance at what he saw.

The most gigantic emerald he ever saw was half-sunken into a stone mount sitting right in front of him. There were absolutely no imperfections at all on it's surface and the colossal gem radiated outwards with a majestic, deep green glow, as if it contained unfathomable power within it. Soldier warily inched toward it, not sure what would be the consequence for being in it's presence. He greedily reached out to touch the smooth glittering surface…

"Don't you DARE touch that!"

Soldier had absolutely no time to react to a killing blow to the neck. The only thing that narrowly saved his life was an instinct that he developed over the years of being a mercenary.

It saved his life, but it didn't save his pride.

Soldier, having jumped backwards to avoid his attacker, now faced the consequence and tumbled, painfully, down every step of the narrow staircase of the ruins until he hit the tall grass with a muffled thud. With a curse, he tried to stand up, but his assaulter was already above him, descending to deliver an overhead deathblow. Soldier rolled to avoid this, his assailant burying his fist into the earth. This was a mistake on his part, as his fist was stuck in the ground. As he struggled to yank it out, Soldier took a second to identify his attacker.

He was short, about half his height, and if Soldier had seen him before he almost killed him, he would have underestimated his strength. He was mostly red, save a white crest on his chest, and two massive gloved fists bearing blunt spikes on the end. Thick, dread-like spines hung off his head, and his face was permanently contorted into a visage of anger.

Just before the red sentinel finally removed his fist from the ground, Soldier lunged for his throat, knocking him on the ground and digging his thumbs into his trachea. The attacker did the same, wrapping his heavy mitts around Soldier's neck. The two wrestled each other amongst the tall grass in a race to see who could suffocate who first.

* * *

Knuckles felt sweat bead on his forehead under the intruder's iron grip. Dark tendrils of death played around the borders of his vision. _"Who the hell does he think he is?" _Knuckles thought in frustration. For him, it started out like any other boring day, sitting on his ass guarding the Master Emerald. The last couple of years had gone without so much as birds and bugs passing by. Then _this _guy shows up without any warning, no possible method of transportation, and a stupid-ass hat!

He was going to die by the hands of a guy with the most idiotic sense of headwear. Darkness swallowed more of his vision, his eyes started to roll into his head…

"AYE!"

Both heads turned towards the source of the sound. A stumbling black man with an eye patch, liquor bottle, and a over-under grenade launcher came into view.

"YOU'ALL STOP FIGHTIN OVER THAT… PRETTY… SHINEY*burp*THING OVER THERE. I'LL SOLVE IT FOR YA."

The newcomer aimed his launcher at the Emerald. Knuckles' eyes widened as the explosive projectile spat out of the tube. Time slowed down as it gracefully arced to it's destructive end towards the precious Master Emerald. Knuckles reached out with one arm, shouting a useless defiance at the inevitable outcome, one that has happened so many times before. The grenade, trailing red streaks of light, came to the last leg of its course, ready to impact it's target and shatter it into countless pieces…

It disappeared harmlessly in a small burst of sparks.

"Fukkin Mann Co…" Mumbled Demoman.

Knuckles was relieved beyond comprehension. He also noticed that the guy who was but a moment ago trying to kill him was charging at the other guy.

"DEMOMAN YOU SCOTTISH SONUVABITCH! WHY WOULD YOU WANT TO BREAK IT?" He yelled as he began to end the life of Demoman, via trench shovel.

"_This is gonna be a long day…" _thought Knuckles.


End file.
